Talking About My University Course and Questioning My Decisions

Hello everyone! I’m happily typing this post away during my mid-term break, the one chance I’ve had to breathe in these past weeks. I talked a lot about what happened in September in my post: What Happened in September and My Plans Moving Forward so you can check out the details there.

Today I feel like talking about my university courses and how everything is going in my academic life. I’m planning on exploring my long term goals and aspirations and I’m probably going to ramble about the questions and anxieties I have regarding my academics, so strap in.

I won’t lie, a good chunk of this post is because I’ve been having a mini-crisis regarding my academics and I thought writing it all here might help? But apart from that, I’m also excited about some of the stuff I’m working on and apparently some of you are actually invested in my university journey?

Wow, I’m flattered. Although half of it can basically be described as drowning in assignments and tears.

Woman shaking and sobbing

Let’s Talk About My University Courses!

I’m in my second year now! It’s just so strange and hard to believe? Like I still feel like a fresher except I’ve lost all my fresher energy. RIP.

I’m not going to bore you all with the compulsory courses I’m taking this semester because I already hate them enough. I mean Environmental Science wasn’t supposed to be too bad but god forbid if my professor can keep me awake with his voice at 8:30 in the morning. Nope, not happening. The second one is supposed to be a basic science course but they’re somehow teaching us logarithm? WHY MATHS?

This is me when I encounter maths:

Man screaming in panic

My saving grace has been Nandini @Novels and Nebulas who’s been coaching me on logarithms like a patient saint. Disclaimer: I can be extremely dumb when it comes to maths.

Okay, now that we’re done with the bad stuff…

I’m doing two psychology courses, one of them being a very basic introductory course and the other being a statistics course. I honestly expected to be a bit bored in the introductory course because it’s supposed to be a repetition of the psychology I did in school but it’s nice to revisit concepts and the syllabus isn’t entirely the same so I do encounter some new stuff. As a plus, I find it to be a very easy grade!

I was actually very scared for the statistics course but it has quickly become my favourite course this semester. There is very little statistics involved and more of methodology and I’m absolutely loving it. My professor, who’s actually a visiting professor, is extremely sweet and accommodating. The material is very interesting and I’ve read some really fun papers and spent my time trying to dissect them.

My latest group project was coming up with a research questionnaire and writing a paper on it which was truly exhausting but still, extremely fun. And the group project gods finally blessed me with a freaking wonderful group! This might be the first time I’ve ever had so much fun in a group project.

Relieved woman saying “Thank Goodness”

The only downside to this course is that the professor is just extremely slow, to the point that sometimes I have to check whether she took a pause or zoom froze on me…

Coming to my last and only literature course, we have literary theory. This course has been an absolute ride. I knew going into this compulsory course that we would be reading papers and essays instead of books but I didn’t expect everything to be so…. dense?

There’s a lot of philosophy going on which I absolutely despise and often I understand very little of my readings and end up searching for lessons on YouTube. The format of the class is such that we are expected to read and understand and summarize these readings on our own and then hold a discussion. It just involves minimal interaction from the professor’s side and I don’t know, I’ve been a bit lost. I usually never get the answers to the questions I pose and the discussion just goes round and round, generating more questions than answers. And the basic concepts aren’t always explained? Even if I enjoy the readings I almost always hate the direction the discussions end up going in. It’s a very stressful course and I’m not sure that I enjoy it enough to put in that sort of effort. This leads me to our next section…

What Do I Want To Pursue?

I’ve been so sure for so long that I want to pursue English and Psychology. I’ve always been adamant on my plan of doing a double major in English and Psychology with a minor in Creative Writing. That’s been the dream but lately I’ve been questioning it a bit.

I’m not enjoying my literature courses as much as I thought I would.

Let’s digress. I took two courses in my first semester, one of which was nice but the other was an absolute highlight of my year, I loved it with every piece of my soul. The problem is, I haven’t felt that way with any of my other literature courses as of yet. Last semester I started questioning doing an English major because I wasn’t having that much fun in my Literature course. But then I pushed it aside, thinking that my feelings were heavily affected by the change to online learning. I detest online classes and it zaps most of my motivation away.

But my current literature course hasn’t been going great either and when I think of the next few compulsory courses for an English major, I just feel exhausted even as I think about taking those. I haven’t got a great feedback from my friends on them as well, mostly because they’re all about reading the works of dead white men.

Ugh, I absolutely hate that genre.

But they’re compulsory courses for an English major or minor so where do I go from here?

There are no expectations for me to be an English major. Like, my family might be surprised if I drop that plan but there’s no pressure from that side. People tell me that my academic plan seems very ambitious and stressful and that’s not entirely a lie, but because I love all these subjects I like the intensity that they come with. I don’t mind working for it. But I hate working on something I don’t like. I’m an all or nothing sort of person.

So if I’m not liking the literature courses, is there even a point in doing those? Part of me wants to drop out of the literature idea but part of me wants to surge ahead anyway, hoping to get that spark I got from my first literature course. Even if I try to do an English minor instead of a major, it would still involve all those unappealing compulsory courses. In fact, it would stop at that whereas pursuing a major would allow me to attend the more optional and elective courses.

So yeah, this is extremely frustrating and I’m literally questioning this decision everyday with no answer in front of me.

Man asking Alexa “What should I do?”

Apart from that, this semester has been going as well as it can on an online platform but I absolutely can’t wait to be back on campus. Fingers crossed, January will be the month I go back. 2021 can’t come soon enough!

So, do you have any thoughts or advice for me?

How is your work/school/college going with the online interface?

Do you have any fond memories with a certain course or professor from your school or college?

15 thoughts on “Talking About My University Course and Questioning My Decisions

  1. Honestly, I don’t think the questioning ever stops. You just lean towards something more, but it doesn’t fully stop. At least, it never did for me. Even in my last year of college when I was pretty sure with my career, I STILL questioned and looked at completely different paths. I think just find what you want/like the most and go with it.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I went through something similar when I was in university. I thought I would love history and literature and I hated all the courses! I ended up loving psychology and focused on that. I still ended up becoming a freelance editor, so it didn’t matter that I didn’t major in literature. You still have plenty of time to decide what you want- follow your heart!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Sorry to hear this ☹️ For me there were some subjects I loved and some I really had to push through. It’s difficult when it’s a compulsory subject but the Uni should have resources if you decide you want to discuss options🍀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m 27 and have gone back to uni to do a masters alongside work and honestly the questioning never stops! I started my undergrad on a biology/chemistry course, then swapped to politics, then got a job in advertising! Now I’m doing a masters in environmental policy. I don’t think it’s ever a straightforward path so my advice would be to prioritise whatever brings you joy and that you know can get you out of bed in the morning 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh wow, that sounds like a whirlwind of choices! Thank you so much for your advice. I usually have trouble in such decisions because I do want to follow my heart but I also want to do everything possible 😜

      Like

  5. I too hate the ‘dead white men’ genre and is one of the reasons I’m glad I never ended up doing an English Lit A Level because I would be a ball of simmering fury in the classroom xD However I would say you should follow your gut, there’s no point sticking to something with the hopes that you’ll find that spark again because what if it never comes back? You’ll be spending hours, funnelling your energy into something you begin to hate and loathe, which won’t be fun

    For myself, I originally planned after my GCSE’s to study at my schools Sixth Form, I would be taking English Lit, Art, English Language and in my head it was going to be wonderful. (we’ll ignore the fact my school couldn’t accommodate me being in those three classes >.>). Anyway, I ended up being one grade below meeting the requirements to get into my Sixth Form, I cried but it was mostly because I felt like I’d let my parents down. I was only really going for Sixth Form for ease, as anywhere else meant my parents would need to drive me there. I’d not applied to any other colleges, so when I didn’t get in it was a scramble of trying to find somewhere. Anyway I ended up doing a BTEC in graphic design and after finishing that in 2019, I knew I didn’t want to go into Uni. Maybe sometime in the future but Uni didn’t appeal to me.

    Somehow I ended up getting a job in a primary school, which made me realise that I truly do love and enjoy working with children, they bring me so much joy and happiness. Helping them learn, grow and so I then enrolled in an online Teaching Assistant course. I originally trashed the idea of going into teaching thinking I wouldn’t be able to because I’d need to go to Uni or/and my social anxiety…I guess what I’m trying to say is you will know if something’s worth sticking it out. If you dig deep and really ask yourself if this is worth the stress, the pain and the frustration and it’s a yes…then stay with the majors and minors you chose. If however you feel yourself being pulled towards something else, maybe explore that option a bit and see if it’s a viable major/minor to switch into?

    Honestly, I just rambled in your comments but nothing is ever straightforward until you truly tune out the noise and get real honest with yourself. Sending you so much love Charvi, my DMs are always open for you if you ever need to vent/talk ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my god yes, that’s exactly what I don’t want to do. I don’t want to let that hate fester and grow and make me hate literature on a whole. I might give it one last chance next sem and take an English course and see how it goes.

      Ahaha accommodations are a pain. Honestly I love your life, I’m a huge kids person too which is partly why I want to do therapy with a focus on teens and kids 🥰 My family jokes that if I see a baby or toddler I’ll drop everything and run to them…. which is absolutely true 😂

      No no I love your ramblings and they all make sense 😘 Thank you so much!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yep, well sending you all the good vibes ❤

        They truly are. Awh I mean, I really enjoy what I do, which I think shows a lot haha. My family joke that the kids where I work are part of my "fan club" and like…they're not really wrong cause they all call out my name whenever they see me hehe.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s