Ironically, the reason behind my lack of updates in the University Journals series is due to the amount of work my university has piled up on me.
Where do I even begin?
As of yet, I don’t have any structure for these kinds of posts, which is surprising since I love organising everything beforehand. But this is going to be a trial and error sort of things. Right now I’m trying to follow a layout similar to an actual journal so I’ll just be talking about university stuff under some basic headings.
This has been one of the biggest hurdles in my life while simultaneously being a blessing. How do I hate and love something at the same time?
I completely understand and agree with my university’s decision to go online but it’s been a challenge to keep up with online classes. To start with, the interface is so distracting that my eyes keep drifting here and there.
Secondly, as a person with high levels of anxiety, I’m constantly worried about whether my microphone and video is off or not. And even when it is I constantly fret that zoom will somehow accidentally turn them on and I’ll embarrass themselves.
Even when I keep the laptop aside and take a nap, yes I do that for some of my compulsory courses, I keep waking up and peering at my screen to make sure everything is fine. It’s a nightmare.
Also, it’s just not the same??? Seeing professors and asking doubts, getting in-person explanations- all is gone. Also one of my professors has a notorious habit of extending past the scheduled time by half an hour almost every freaking time. Back at university, it would cut into our lunch hour which meant she had to let us go but there’s no stopping her now and I simply can’t afford to drift away even for a second during her course.
But on the other hand… skipping classes while still getting attendance is so easy? The pandemic has left my attention span to zero and I find it so hard to concentrate on stuff I’m not interested in. Plus I have a compulsory course which is supremely boring and I can easily ace my assignments without paying the tiniest bit of attention in class, so that’s been a boon.
It’s Raining Assignments
Honestly, I can’t go a single day without working on some assignment or the other. Almost every professor has unleashed a fury of work that keeps me occupied 24/7 and I’ve been so drained out for the past couple of weeks.
Sometimes I’ll just burst into tears because the weight of my studies and the whole situation just comes crashing down at odd times. To top it all off, one of my professors cancelled our last couple of classes and forbid us from making any contact with her or the teaching assistants because she received some rude comments and interruptions on Zoom. She gave the offenders a deadline to own up but nobody came forward so now everyone is suffering. To say that my anxiety cascaded after that would be an understatement. It’s the most technical and stressful course I have this semester and now I have to teach myself for the upcoming final exam while dealing with a group project. I’m totally out of my depth.
But thankfully, my work has become a bit manageable lately since the classes have ended and we’re drawing nearer to finals. I’ve finished my creative writing course but I have a couple of deadlines in the first week of May so that might possibly be peak stress for me.
Update: this post has been pushed to first week of May because WordPress has been a pain in the ass 🙂
Other than that, I’m just hoping to get back to campus in time for the next semester because I miss it so much, I could die.
The other day we had a zoom call where one of the few students who were on campus showed us the dogs outside our campus and I haven’t been happier in this quarantine. I just want to hug my little babies as soon as I get back. Our university is mostly responsible for them being fed so all this time I was so scared that they would starve to death, but they seem to be alright 🙂
End of Sem Thoughts
Once this semester ends I will sort of have completed my first year at university? Wow. I feel like just yesterday when I was brimming with excitement to start at my university.
I’m always excited to have a look at the new upcoming courses and plan out my schedule so I’m eagerly awaiting the list of courses from my uni. I’m a bit worried as to what will happen to all my stuff back on campus and when we’ll be able to get it back.
But also, I’m so relieved that I finally get to change roommates! The one I was assigned to has been…. tiring me out, to say the least. All of my friends know about her notorious habits but I won’t get into that. I now get to room with one of my closest friends who’s a Hufflepuff and book nerd like me! I finally don’t have to worry about giggling at fanfics late at night or bursting into tears when a character dies.
Anyway, this post turned out to be slightly longer than what I expected but that’s the update from my side in terms of my studies and university.
If you’re a student, how has life been going for you?
What are your thoughts on zoom and other online meeting platforms?
Tell me about a happy or exciting memory associated with school or college 🙂