I love reading books, which you would definitely have noticed if you aren’t blind.
But what I especially love in a book is a fluffy and cute romance that makes my facial muscles ache from smiling and my throat sore from squealing and giggling. Lots of readers love romance, if written the right way. Let’s not go into the cringey romantic relationships some books have.
No, we’re talking about those adorable characters that we’ll die to see together forever.
But there is an extremely torturous form of a good romance too – one that rips your soul and makes you beg, scream and cry. That’s right, I’m talking about slow-burn romances.
In case you don’t know, slow burn is a type of romance in which the evil writer keeps the two love interests far apart and inches them closer ever so slowly to make you die a sweet painful death. Umm the actual definition is ‘a relationship which takes a long time to develop’ but I think we can all agree my definition is far more accurate.
Why do we torture ourselves with it?
Honest to god, I don’t know. Something about getting your soul ripped out for fictional characters feels amazing, as does the feeling when they finally get together!
I don’t know about the rest of you but I have a million thoughts swirling in my head when I’m reading a slow-burn romance. Let’s have a look at some of them!
THOUGHTS I HAVE WHILE READING A SLOW-BURN
- Oh hi! I can see you two together.
- Are they friends? Strangers? Enemies? Dammit.
- So is this going to take long or????
- Who am I kidding this is going to take ages!!!
- Oh. Pain. Fun.
- Should I get an insurance for brain damage?
- I DEFINITELY SHOULD
- Let’s calculate the latest time by when they should get together!
- *does NASA level maths even when she can’t pass a basic maths test*
- WHY IS THERE NEED FOR SUCH TORTURE?
- OH MY GOD THEY HAD A NORMAL CONVERSATION WITHOUT KILLING EACH OTHER THIS IS FREAKING PROGRESS!
- Oh my god noooooooo
- Goddamit why are there so many misunderstandings???!!
- YES YOU BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT EXCEPT YOU TWO
- OH MY GOD YOU TWO ARE SUCH MORONS!
- MORONS WHO ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER
- THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS EEP I’M MELTING!
- ThAT WAS THE PERFECT MOMENT FOR A KISS OH MY GOD WHY ARE YOU KILLING ME?!!?!!
- I’m going to sue this author
- Hello police? Is it legal for fictional characters to hold so much power over my heart? Yes I just need the two of them to be thrown in prison. In a single room. Alone.
- Throws book at a wall
- No mom, I didn’t break anything!
- I CANNOT WITH THIS BOOK
- Why am I even doing this to myself?!
- So this is what heartbreak feels like
- *screams in frustration*
- No, why did you think I was getting kidnapped, I’m just reading!
- Will you stop dating other people???? You know you’re meant to be together!
- YES THANK YOU FOR BREAKING UP WITH HER NOW GET TOGETHER WITH YOUR SOULMATE
- Oh my god you can’t go a single page without taking his name can’t you see your obsession?!?!
- YES THANK YOU WE FINALLY HAVE A PERFECT KISS
- oh my god my heart is so full they have finally realised-
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY’RE STILL NOT GOING TO GET TOGETHER AFTER THAT?!?!
- *grabs a box of tissues*
- Honestly Voldemort could have grown a nose in all this time that they’re taking to get together
- why must I feel?
- *bangs head against book*
- Yes, please talk and sort this out! Have you two not heard of DTR? Define the hell out of this relationship!
- I swear if anybody steps between these two I will chop them into tiny pieces and crush them under my feet
- CAN’T STOP SMILING
- Oh my god stop you two are so cute!
- I DIDN’T ACTUALLY MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD STOP UGHH
- 20 pages left in the book, are we EVER going to see them together?
- WHY MUST THEY FIGHT?!? My heart can’t take it!
- Oh my god I think it’s happening
- YES IT’S OFFICIAL
- THIS SHIP IS NOW CANNON WHOOOO! I CAN BREATHE AND SHIP THEM WITH MY COMPLETE SOUL AND SQUEAL OVER THEIR ADORABLE SHENANIGANS
- Oh sweet love, this is what I live for
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SEQUEL COMES OUT IN 2020?!?!!? I DON’T GET TO SEE MY BABIES FOR 2 MORE FREAKING YEARS?!?!
- You’re all invited to my funeral tomorrow.
So how was that? That’s actually how I think, please tell me I’m not the only crazy person here XD
Oh, also that was literally all the thoughts I had while reading and re-reading(6 times) Carry On by Rainbow Rowell. Wayward Sons comes out in 2020 and honestly I can’t even.